real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
another moral hangover. fuck.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
