she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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