I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
