I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize