fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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