PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
