I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
