I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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