I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
