I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
