***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
