Got a toothbrush?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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