I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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