I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
