You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
