My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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