Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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