it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm really busy with my period
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
