hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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