And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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