He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize