I need to stop coming to work sober
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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