i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
