and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
