The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
