Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just had sex on a roof
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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