best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
