Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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