so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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