I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I did not marry a roomba.
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