im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
