ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
