Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Randomize
