i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
