soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
