The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize