she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
