I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
