I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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