You just made me feel so damn special
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize