It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
