your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
