Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
