If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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