Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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