im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
