We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
