I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize