i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
