i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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