you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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