normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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