i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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