thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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