sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
