Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
